Gausman’s Initial Start Is Cagey
Yesterday, Buster Olney tweeted, "Kevin Gausman is pitching tonight probably exactly the way the Orioles hoped on the day they drafted him. Dominant stuff." Putting aside the unnecessary "probably"...
View ArticleA’s All Up In Rookie’s Mane
"'I need a bouncy C. Not a bouncy castle!' Billy Beane screams into his headset, when an intern interrupts him and his daughter, practicing her guitar, while they are both on a treadmill. The intern...
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DraftKings: Do do do do do…Manaea Manaea!
I'm not the first to pander to our Muppets roots with Sean Manaea and I'm sure I won't be the last. I mean, when Russian Trololo went viral, I thought to myself 'how did Mahna Mahna not win this...
View ArticleDraftKings: Mediocre Monday…. Or Is It?
I usually look forward to Monday’s during the Fantasy Baseball season, but today’s starting pitching has me a little down. Certainly, if you take a quick glance, things don’t seem so bad as Johnny...
View ArticleDraftKings: Don’t Be A Lazy Bird, Get On The Cole Trane
You have to appreciate the classics. I wouldn’t say I’m a jazz nerd or anything, but I do listen to the genre, am familiar with the legends and am generally a sucker for horns. If you have no idea what...
View ArticleGallo Hopefully Not Riding Pine Before His Time
Yesterday, Shin-Soo Choo hit the DL again. Yeah, surprise, surprise. Never would've seen that coming, unless you've followed Choo's career for the last three seconds. In other news, Joey Gallo was...
View ArticleHarvey Finally Shows The Other Face
You flip through your cassette singles. You pop in James Ingram's Just Once cassette single, but decide that's better to play right after taking the love of your life for an abortion. You then pop in...
View ArticleMookie Betts The Trifecta
"Ree," opens the front door, walks down the driveway, says hello to my Polish neighbor, Stash, walks to the DQ, gets a Blizzard, eats said Blizzard, walks home, opens the door, says "Dick," hits the...
View ArticleDraftKings: Catch A Falling Knife
Sorry for the stock jargon. Everyone who's reading this is more than likely a DFS fan or someone who has some interest in it which means you probably have something outside of DFS that tickles some...
View ArticleDraftKings: The Southpaws Will Rise
We have a compact slate of only ten games today, but there's a whole lot of lefty action going on, so let's see who we can expose to cash in on some DK dolla billz. Jon Lester, $11,600 seems like the...
View ArticleThat’s Why The J.D. Needs A Clamp
Just Damn. Just Doh. Just Don't-tell-me-he's-out-for-the-year. Just Depression. Just Difficulty-feeling-happiness. Just Dis-stress-is-stressing-me-out. Just D-negative-words-in-the-thesaurus....
View ArticleDraftKings: HR/FB + Hard% = Dingers
Hey everyone, welcome to Sunday, and happy Father's Day! We've got another great 11-game slate that features a ton of offense, with many pitchers to attack on the slate. One of the biggest reasons why...
View ArticleDraftKings: SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!
I've never had the privilege of posting Sunday, so forgive as I couldn't resist the Mega Monster Truck lead in. With truck names like Demon Seed, Ball Buster and Dutch Oven how can you not get fired...
View ArticleDraftKings: Slow Your Roll
Did you enjoy your time away from DFS during the All Star Break? It’s time to pull yourself away from wandering into traffic to catch Pokemon and back to grinding out DFS wins. The time off is a good...
View ArticleOPS Leaguers Unite! OPS All Stars!
I was watching the PCL-International League All-Star game (Psyche! You thought it was going to be about the MLB All Stars; well it is, we’ll get there and Psych was an underrated great show) and took...
View ArticleDraftKings: Bettis Can’t Play The Trumbone
If I were to have asked you prior to the start of the season, who would lead the majors in home runs on July 26, you probably would have said, "Harper, Stanton, or Bautista." Hey, all of those are fair...
View ArticleCole Gets His Jolly Rogers On The U.S.S. Mariner
Gerrit Cole's start yesterday -- 9 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.78 -- wasn't the most impressive start. *walks around, shaking people out of their slumber* Hey, what's going on, guys and...
View ArticleTwins Trade Nunez To Free Up ABs For AAAA’s
The Twins' lineup could generate power for any remote control, because they're filled with Double-A batteries. High five me! C'mon! You don't appreciate a good snap! I'm zinging over here! Fine,...
View ArticleDraftKings: Griffin’dor, Only For the Brave And True
So Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix was on HBO tonight and before you ask, no I still don't have cable. Me not having cable is a running joke around here. Sorry if you don't understand, but...
View ArticleIndians Smoke The ‘Missing Piece’ Pipe And Trade Prospects For Miller
The Indians traded Clint Frazier, Justus Sheffield, Ben Heller and J.P. Feyereisen for Andrew Miller. A regular Thanksgiving bounty to the Yankees as the Indians received SAGNOF and smallpox....
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