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Aroldis 30-Day In-Season Vacations Always Involve Cuffs

Yesterday, on the holiest of Hallmark-created holidays and celebrated most of all by Bill Hall, mothers from all different backgrounds came together to put up their feet, sip mimosas and talk about how "The Handmaid's Tale" could totally happen now with Trump.  I'd contend that Hallmark should get a little credit for women's rights.  Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Secretary's Day, "Buy a card just because you love her" Day... Before this, it was, "Do you wanna make this pelt I skinned into a rug or a sweater for little Kevin?  What?  You're tired from churning butter?  Okay, you can have the afternoon after you make beef and kidney pie."  In honor of Mother's Day, one of the great lovers of women (who are handcuffed to his bedpost), Aroldis Chapman was diagnosed with rotator cuff inflammation, and will be sidelined for a month.  If Dellin Betances is available in your league, can I get into your league?  If there's an entry fee, all the better.  You pay it, and we'll split the cash prizes.  I even grabbed Tyler Clippard in one league just in case Betances gets all Cuddle Boy on us.  Anyway, here's what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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